Yet Another True WWTF Story

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Recently, I got talking to a non-engineer wife of an engineer that I know. He is involved in an engineering association and she frequently goes along with him to conferences and meetings in order to visit places, but also, I believe, to commiserate with other non-engineer wives.

She told me that she was not going with her husband on the next trip and that this had some fascinating repercussions. Because she was not there, another engineer who was bringing his wife along, a friend of the woman with whom I was talking, signed his wife up for the conference field trip. He wouldn’t have signed her up if other non-engineer wives were at the conference, but this engineer was a thoughtful type, not wanting his wife to be without friends and left out. The field trip was, you guessed it, to the local Waste Water Treatment Facility!

As for this wife who was forced, make that, given the opportunity to tour the WWTF, I am uncertain how long she will hold a grudge against the wife who did not go, but likely it will be at least as long as the memory of the sludge drying beds lingers.

You Might Be an Engineer If…

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– you have kept your New Year’s resolution by proving that you have made your relationship with your wife more efficient.

You Might Be an Engineer If…

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– you are dating a girl and write an equation (or algorithm) to determine if she would be a “good fit” for a wife.

Anti-Questions

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If an engineer goes out to the store with his non-engineer wife, there are a few things the wife has learned (hopefully) never to ask. They could be considering the purchase of a car or computer or a set of dish towels, it does not matter.

She likely has learned not to throw these questions out there from experience – long, slogging, arduous experience. Here are a few of the key questions not to ask. We will call them anti-questions.

Doesn’t that color look pretty?

What do you feel about this?

How about we splurge a little?

His wife might as well be speaking some Sumerian. The engineer will have no idea how to respond to the first two, and will easily respond to the last question with a resounding, “That would not be wise use of our funds.”

Engineeringdaze.com brings marital help to all engineers and their spouses.

You are welcome.

You Might Be an Engineer If…

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– you have written an equation to explain your wife’s or girlfriend’s emotions.

(As a side note: This is not a good idea.)

8

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8 is not a number near and dear to the engineer, but it is a number that helps define the engineer. From data derived by the Center for Extrapolated Data, 8 is the average number of times a year that an engineer will actually tell his wife, “I love you.”

Most non-engineers (NE) reading this will consider this to be way too low for a good, working relationship, and, I guess from all those relationship books – written by NE’s – sure, that is probably true. A wife typically needs many more words of encouragement and endorsement of love. But in the engineer’s mind, he told her when they got married, and he would tell her if anything changed, so the 8 a year are above what is needed. However, in at least a meager attempt to accommodate this non-logical necessity of using these words of emotion, he acquiesces and uses these words on wildly emotional days like their anniversary, her birthday, Valentine’s Day, and around the holidays at the end of the year. Notice that that is only four times. So the other four are far and away extra ones. Think about it.

As the engineer’s mantra goes, “Engineers don’t feel. Engineers think.”

But, he can learn to adapt. Sort of.

You Might Be an Engineer If…

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– when your wife was nearing the time to give birth, you already had mapped out, timed the signals on and tested the time for at least three routes to the hospital, and written a decision matrix for the best route for the time of day the labor begins.