Anti-Questions

September 7, 2012

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If an engineer goes out to the store with his non-engineer wife, there are a few things the wife has learned (hopefully) never to ask. They could be considering the purchase of a car or computer or a set of dish towels, it does not matter.

She likely has learned not to throw these questions out there from experience – long, slogging, arduous experience. Here are a few of the key questions not to ask. We will call them anti-questions.

Doesn’t that color look pretty?

What do you feel about this?

How about we splurge a little?

His wife might as well be speaking some Sumerian. The engineer will have no idea how to respond to the first two, and will easily respond to the last question with a resounding, “That would not be wise use of our funds.”

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September 4, 2012

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A couple weeks ago, we learned that there are three basic questions that an engineer asks, either to himself, or to the family member spending family money, when considering the purchase of an item. The three are:

1. How much does it cost?

2. How long will it last?

3. Will it cause me to socialize with people?

Those, however, are simply the screening questions. A more complete list contains at least 8 questions when considering to purchase an item, the first three, plus five more (therefore, 8 – done without, but checked by, using a calculator):

4. What is the likelihood of the it breaking before the normal useful life?

5. What are the maintenance costs?

6. What are the costs to run or use the item? (like gas in a car or electricity in an electric toothbrush)

7. Will it help in any way to understand my wife (or girlfriend, or any female) better?

8. Will I ever have to make a presentation in front of people because I bought this item?

To go through all the answers favorable to purchase:

The answer to 1. should be very little.

The answer to 2. should be very long.

The answer to 3. should be, “No.”

The answer to 4. should be very low.

The answer to 5. should be very low.

The answer to 6. should be very low.

The answer to 7. should be yes, but skepticism to this answer means the weight of the answer is low.

The answer to 8. should be “No.” That’s a deal-breaker.