Tork, caveman engineer, the first engineer in history, make that pre-history, returns for this week on

Tork noticed that he could run fast. Not as fast the non-engineer cavemen, but that is a different story. He also noticed that he could run much faster than a snake, but much slower than saber-toothed tiger.

Tork got to figuring, trying make sense of the world, as any engineer would do. Tork thought, “Hmg, no legs go slow, two legs go fast, four legs go faster.”

Tork even created a table, a spreadsheet of sorts, which he posted (scrawled) on his cave wall. While making it difficult to impress cavewomen with his interior decorating skills, Tork nevertheless tried to figure out this relationship between number of legs and speed.

Then one day, Tork saw a centipede. It didn’t fit into his algorithm well – actually not at all. Tork crushed it with a rock.

In the end, Tork abandoned his attempt at this heavily biological endeavor, leaving it to the caveman a few caves down who wanted to be a caveman doctor. Tork went back to his work of providing clean water for caves, finding great uses for that new invention, the wheel, and understanding the benefits of treating waste properly – or at least locating a waste site properly.